Ohhh man, I have to stop drinking

So, this one time, i got so damn drunk, we had like 3 bottles of vodka or so. By being totally annihilated, I went to this club and of course, by all chances at this drukness i dont see the damn glass door in front of myself. So, what do I do? I smash my face off the door while the club is full, everyone is turning around and I'm like....I MEANT TO DO THAT!!!
sometimes before...
Once upon a time, me and my friend (let's name him purfufna) were walking down the street drunk as hell, and he started hugging the traffic light and talking to it. I thought he was joking, because we were not as nearly as wasted as we could be, but he continued. After I dragged him to the nearest bar, he started telling a tale of how he met his ex 15 minutes ago near the traffic light, and she started kissing him immediately. What a wonka!
sometimes before...
I was on a summer exchange program in Austria, staying at this cheery dorm, having as they 'd say in Dirty dancing - Time of my life. We were drinking 24/7, not really overdoing it, just chillin, or so did I thought.. Around lunch time, one weekend I had to comeback to my room to grab something. I was already on my 5th beer of the day, and suddenly when I entered the room,I felt this choking sensation, that I must immediately leave the room. I started to scream and run around the room, deliriously touching the walls, trying to get out, but I stopped before the door, because "It wouldn't be fair to use them again" And before I knew what was I doing I found myself standing on the table, almost smashing the laptop on it, and opening the window. And i jumped, I jumped without hesitating, without thinking that my room was on the 1st floor of the dorm, and these were high Austrian ceilings...
16 hours later I woke up with a horrible hangover with 6 people in white coats staring at me. Behind them there was a huge writing on the wall " Department of Neurosurgery". First they asked me did I think I had wings, then they told me there was no brain injury or broken bones and I was introduced to a psychiatrist and spend the day being analyzed by her. I was released at he end of the day with bruises, headache, painful cramps in my whole body and a strong recommendation to stop and avoid further drinking. Do I even have to mention how "thrilled" my parents were?
sometimes before...
So, in one of my many similar nights out, it ended in this student club until cca 5am... and we drank a lot. So, when going home, I was waiting for a tram to come so I can get home. However, as it was already cca 5am, the day trams started going (as opposed to special night lines). I entered the tram... and woke up at 9:30am. In a full tram. Of people who showered, got dressed and are going to work. As opposed to a smelly, sweaty, dirty, hungover mess I was. Not cool! I was driving 4 and a half hours while in drunk sleep having a lot of people around me. Luckily these days I can afford a cab.
sometimes before...
One time I got so drunk at the club that while i was going to the bathroom and in there I turned and bumped at the guy, I apologized... it took me few mins to realize that guy I bumped into was my reflection in the mirror.
sometimes before...